Monthly Archives: July 2011

Occupational hazard

A depressed garbageman, Jerry Stumps, found his body was covered with bumps;  He said he was okay, but the very next day, again, he was “down in the dumps”!

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Happily ever after!

The journey of marriage, a long way; The tender feelings, they will stay, to keep them sweet, here’s my best tweet, just treat her as your fiance!

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*Heave Ho

A fellow visited Indochina, His home was in North Carolina;  He wasn’t very nice, he criticized their rice,  and found himself in Outdochina!!            *heave ho; forcefully telling a prostitute to upchuck..

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About face!

The title “gentleman” I had earned,  a fact my wife has happily learned;  In a situation with a physical altercation,  I’d never strike her when her back was turned!

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When you gotta go!

I had so much fun while visiting France!  A nice lady and I enjoyed a dance;  The restroom I needed to see, so she answered with “oui oui”?  I said, “oh yes,” before I soiled my pants!

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A Ghoul Friend

Her hair was coiffed and looking fine, her lips were smooth, as if by design;  Her shoes very neat, but she had huge feet, and a face by Doctor Frank N. Stein!

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It’s Her Decision!

He talks to me tenderly, Says he’ll give me his apartment key. Everyday of my life, says he wants me for his wife! How does he know his wife will want me?!

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Speak now, or forever….

The wedding ceremony was so neat. The bride’s smile was so very sweet. When the minister said, “Who giveth her to be wed.” Six ex-boyfriends stood on their feet!!

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Gold Digger

A Playboy Bunny was very wise;  Told her boyfriend she had  a surprise;  To a jeweler they’d go, an eye doctor had let her know  that carats were good for the eyes!

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No peeking pleas

A Scotsman was solidly built, he decided to lie on a quilt; He said, “as you know, I,  am very, very, very shy,  So please don’t look under my kilt!

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