Monthly Archives: June 2011

Ding Dong

The kids were ringing doorbells before my eyes, They seemed to be average looking guys;  They were making so much noise, so I chased away the boys;  I feel that I have earned the “no bell” peace prize!

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Weather or Not

In Mexico, I’d ride on the trolley; To predict weather seemed to be folly; How could you explain, sunshine then suddenly rain? Chili today and then hot tamale!

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Deathbed Confection

Now that I’m dying, there’s something I must do, throughout our entire marriage, I’ve always been untrue; The wife answered him, loud and strong, “sweetie, I’ve known it , all along, just why do you think I poisoned you?!

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Harsh Critics

I would sing loudly everyday; My neighbors had critical things to say; My friend, Harry West had a special request: “Sing “Over There” and “Long ago and Far Away!”

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Go west, Young Man!

He had a fiance, and went west to get her; Went to Denver, ’twas there that he met her; He much preferred Cheyenne, but she had a better plan; For she preferred the Boulder Dam site better

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Flatulence

Two Girl Scouts went to camp while on a diet; They dined on baked beans hoping to be quiet! They accumulated gas, which they subsequently would pass, and in their tent they almost caused a riot!!

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Friendly Neighbor

I married the girl that I adore; I gave my all, she wanted more; I had no clue, ’til at last I knew, Moore was our neighbor right next door!

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Shanks Mare

I broke both legs while falling down a hill; I consulted a doctor with appropriate skill; When he and I were talking, he said he’d have me walking, He did! I sold my car to pay his bill!!!

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Sobering Words

At the A.A. meeting, he was upset;  They felt recent  drinking caused him to sweat!  He said, “Look, you loonies, I had tee martoonies, the drunker I stand here, the longer I get!”

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Frozen Proposin’

The shepherd and flock needed advice; The frozen pond’s owner wasn’t nice; The shepherd said “let us go ahead, and you and I will be wed!+ Thus he pulled the wool over her ice!

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