HE SAID,”I CAN’T STOP SMOKING”, AND HE SMOKED EVERYDAY, HE FOUND HE HAD LUNG CANCER, AND HE QUIT RIGHT AWAY!

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HE DIDN’T GET THE JOB, THERE IS NO DOUBT, THEY SAID, “DON’T SLAM THE DOOR ON YOUR WAY OUT”!

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THEY SAID HE WAS TIMID, TO HIM THIS WAS NEWS, ‘TIL HIS WIFE MADE HIM SHINE HER BOYFRIEND’S SHOES!

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HE TOOK NAP IN THE PARK WHICH HE DID LOVE, A BIRD DROPPED A PRESENT FROM ABOVE!

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HIT THE ROAD!

HE HAD STARTLING WORDS TO SAY AS HE SAID GOODBYE, “I DON’T KNOW HOW TO LIVE WITHOUT YOU BUT I’D LIKE TO TRY”!

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RIDE ALONG!

YOUR FRIENDS GO AND ROB A STORE, AND YOU’RE JUST IN THE CAR, A JUDGE MAY RULE YOU’RE JUST AS GUILTY AS YOUR PARTNERS ARE!

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ONE AND DONE!

BE CAREFUL WHEN YOU CHOOSE YOUR FRIENDS, AND OF THE PATH YOU TAKE, FOR MANY ARE IN JAIL FOR LIFE, FOR ONE SILLY MISTAKE!

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HERE’S TO YOU!

HE WAS A GREAT BARTENDER, AND IT WAS WIDELY KNOWN, HE DRANK TO SO MANY PEOPLE’S HEALTH, THAT HE FINALLY RUINED HIS OWN!

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GEORGE BUNYAN!

GEORGE WASHINGTON NEVER TOLD A LIE, HIS FATHER WOULD FORBID IT, WHEN ASKED WHO CHOPPED THE CHERRY TREE, HE ANSWERED, “POPEYE DID IT”!

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MOUTHPIECE!

WHEN I WAS YOUNGER, I WAS ACCUSED OF STARTING A HUGE FIRE, I WAS TOLD THAT TO WIN MY CASE I WOULD NEED A GOOD LIAR!

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